christmas ! did any one mention christmas ?

this morning, i was in a well-known "pile-'em-high, sell-'em-cheap" supermarket ... inspecting the half-price christmas decorations ... a few feet from me along the aisle stood a well-spoken country-wife in a puffa jacket and elastic-sided equestrian boots ... she picked up a toy turkey, less than half life-sized, which was made of felt, and was dressed as father christmas ... and it instantly began to sing jingle bells ... quite loudly, like a rather jolly man, kevin spacey perhaps, but it gobbled just like a real turkey at the end of each line ... blushing like a whole garden of roses, the lady looked around at the smart women behind the pharmaceutical counter, and then at me, and sounded quite panic-stricken when she said, "I don't know how to stop it !" ... so i put on a sympathetic smile and sidled over, a bit like vincent price playing the surgeon in the tingler, only not so well-spoken, or nearly as nice ... and murmured ... "maybe you should wring it's neck !"