kent sheep and oak
Monday, September 26, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
belt & braces, horologically speaking !
putney church beside the tidal thames, the sundial is now o'ershadowed by tall buildings
Thursday, September 22, 2005
dear diary ...
04.15 am - ish
am narrowly missed by three drivers in near collisions at succesive T-junctions as i cycle towards nine elms ... glad to be alive !
08.15 am
arriving in kent, slip while stepping out of cab and fall backwards from truck onto concrete but effortlessly achieve optimal landing on both buttocks and both shoulderblades simultaneously ... followed closely by back of skull
emit roar expressing mixture of shock, pain, and embarrasment ... energised with fear of permanent injury and inability to pay the rent
one second later realise that i am still lucid and nothing is broken
concrete apparently undamaged, kentish onlookers mildly amused, and i am mighty pleased to be alive
recovery fuelled by huge rush of adrenalin
11.00 am
as adrenalin rush subsides, buy bacon lettuce tomato and mayonnaise sandwich from a spotlessly clean road-side stall outside tonbridge
theatrically, whilst i wait, an inspector enters the stall uninvited, wearing a white coat and bearing a clipboard
watching the proceedings he enquires of the pretty lady with the "philadelphia cheese" accent, "have you washed that lettuce ?", to which she rarther candidly replies, "i've never washed a lettuce in my life ! ... i just trim off the outsides !"
17.00 pm
arriving home, discover that the girl at the supermarket checkout where i bought my spring onions has "generously" over-changed me by five pounds
18.00 pm
whilst reading today's wiltshire gazette on-line, discover that school-hating fourteen year old nephew tom has been sectioned after a foolhardy encounter with cheap drugs
my brother argues that young drug abusers shouldn't be protected and thus encouraged by confidentiality
there but for fortune go you or i
18.30 pm
check last night's national lottery results and am now a further ten pounds richer !
and so to bed ...
am narrowly missed by three drivers in near collisions at succesive T-junctions as i cycle towards nine elms ... glad to be alive !
08.15 am
arriving in kent, slip while stepping out of cab and fall backwards from truck onto concrete but effortlessly achieve optimal landing on both buttocks and both shoulderblades simultaneously ... followed closely by back of skull
emit roar expressing mixture of shock, pain, and embarrasment ... energised with fear of permanent injury and inability to pay the rent
one second later realise that i am still lucid and nothing is broken
concrete apparently undamaged, kentish onlookers mildly amused, and i am mighty pleased to be alive
recovery fuelled by huge rush of adrenalin
11.00 am
as adrenalin rush subsides, buy bacon lettuce tomato and mayonnaise sandwich from a spotlessly clean road-side stall outside tonbridge
theatrically, whilst i wait, an inspector enters the stall uninvited, wearing a white coat and bearing a clipboard
watching the proceedings he enquires of the pretty lady with the "philadelphia cheese" accent, "have you washed that lettuce ?", to which she rarther candidly replies, "i've never washed a lettuce in my life ! ... i just trim off the outsides !"
17.00 pm
arriving home, discover that the girl at the supermarket checkout where i bought my spring onions has "generously" over-changed me by five pounds
18.00 pm
whilst reading today's wiltshire gazette on-line, discover that school-hating fourteen year old nephew tom has been sectioned after a foolhardy encounter with cheap drugs
my brother argues that young drug abusers shouldn't be protected and thus encouraged by confidentiality
there but for fortune go you or i
18.30 pm
check last night's national lottery results and am now a further ten pounds richer !
and so to bed ...
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
chocolate tears
we went to the airport and i bought a box of anthon berg strawberries in champagne chocolates before we flew to bilbao
there, in our hotel, whilst i lay staring at the trendy purple ceiling, she discovered a safe that could be programmed so that only her credit card would unlock it
and that was where SHE hid MY chocolates
there is no justice ...
there, in our hotel, whilst i lay staring at the trendy purple ceiling, she discovered a safe that could be programmed so that only her credit card would unlock it
and that was where SHE hid MY chocolates
there is no justice ...
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Sunday, September 11, 2005
bilbao viscaya
we'll be catching a bus to stansted airport in the early hours on monday and then flying to bilbao
will a deputation of swooning marxist feminists be waiting to greet me when we land ?
will our hotel be nearly posh enough ?
can there possibly be enough alcohol in the city for both of our thirsts ?
will they sell me a half-price ticket for the train to san sebastian if i shave and approach the ticket office on my knees ?
if you really really care, then watch this space ...
will a deputation of swooning marxist feminists be waiting to greet me when we land ?
will our hotel be nearly posh enough ?
can there possibly be enough alcohol in the city for both of our thirsts ?
will they sell me a half-price ticket for the train to san sebastian if i shave and approach the ticket office on my knees ?
if you really really care, then watch this space ...
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