Saturday, July 01, 2006

on being reasonable ... one from the archives

upon re-reading a letter written at the time, I recall that on Christmas morning 2004, our first conversation was on the subject of territorial rights.

In answer to a complaint, & with only one eye open, I declared that because I am one & a half times bigger than The Loved One, then I am logically entitled to occupy three-fifths of the bed.

Furthering this watertight argument, I made the point that the golden rule of etiquette in unequal relationships is never to disagree with anyone who imagines they are being logical.

With your own innate clarity of reason, I feel confident that you will agree with everything that I have said & that I can count upon your support, should it become necessary for you to take sides !

the emotional blackmailer's cognitive behavioural therapy

stand before a mirror, preferably a full length one elaborately framed in gilded carvings, as you might find in any rococco palace

contort your face in to a grotesque expression of wounded petulance, with body-language to match

pitch the voice in a throaty kind of self-pitying whinge that fills the world with your disappointment & rattles the window panes

and say loudly after me ...

"i've got NOTHING to complain about !"