In last night's ultimate dream sequence I was back in Malmesbury, although you wouldn't have recognized it because it was more like the Appalachians in the nineteen-fifties.
I was trying to scratch a living as a local news photographer and had been told by my editor that the young Michelle Vater ( pictured ) had just got a job in the local police force and was busy arresting every villain in town, most of whom she had been on first name terms with since infancy.
But every time that I dashed to the scene of a crime, I was too late because she'd already subdued and handcuffed them, completed the paperwork, and sent them off to Devizes Prison, pending trial at the Assizes. There was no question of bail, and no possibility of an action photo.
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