of the seven deadly sins, the eighth and worst by far is emotional blackmail ... the diligent practise of this subtle and ancient art creates a constantly evolving darwinistic moral vacuum in which the brightest new manipulative ideas and stratagems flourish ... and which only you, or i, can fill !
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
on being reasonable ... one from the archives
upon re-reading a letter written at the time, I recall that on Christmas morning 2004, our first conversation was on the subject of territorial rights.
In answer to a complaint, & with only one eye open, I declared that because I am one & a half times bigger than The Loved One, then I am logically entitled to occupy three-fifths of the bed.
Furthering this watertight argument, I made the point that the golden rule of etiquette in unequal relationships is never to disagree with anyone who imagines they are being logical.
With your own innate clarity of reason, I feel confident that you will agree with everything that I have said & that I can count upon your support, should it become necessary for you to take sides !
In answer to a complaint, & with only one eye open, I declared that because I am one & a half times bigger than The Loved One, then I am logically entitled to occupy three-fifths of the bed.
Furthering this watertight argument, I made the point that the golden rule of etiquette in unequal relationships is never to disagree with anyone who imagines they are being logical.
With your own innate clarity of reason, I feel confident that you will agree with everything that I have said & that I can count upon your support, should it become necessary for you to take sides !
the emotional blackmailer's cognitive behavioural therapy
stand before a mirror, preferably a full length one elaborately framed in gilded carvings, as you might find in any rococco palace
contort your face in to a grotesque expression of wounded petulance, with body-language to match
pitch the voice in a throaty kind of self-pitying whinge that fills the world with your disappointment & rattles the window panes
and say loudly after me ...
"i've got NOTHING to complain about !"
contort your face in to a grotesque expression of wounded petulance, with body-language to match
pitch the voice in a throaty kind of self-pitying whinge that fills the world with your disappointment & rattles the window panes
and say loudly after me ...
"i've got NOTHING to complain about !"
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
orgasms in the mouth part viii
the genius lyn in railton road created a sorbet using freshly picked raspberries, topped with more freshly picked raspberries ... now that's what i call extreme unction
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Saturday, June 24, 2006
uncannily perfect timing
cycle over from putney to lavender hill to paint the front of a friend's house whilst the loved one heads for brixton by bus to meet people
about four or five hours into the job, as i arrive hot & tired at the top of a fully extended ladder with a brush and some masonry paint, the top of the ladder begins a very slow slide down the wall and i say to myself quietly but audibly, "something's wrong !"
gathering my wits after that awful second in which time slows to 10% of its normal speed, i begin to climb back down the steps of the moving ladder & to think about how to land, especially if it twists and throws me sideways
but then it stops sliding and as i climb down, the loved one's cheerful voice says "saved you" and she's standing with her foot against the bottom rung and her shopping bags in her hands, having just turned the corner in time to witness my predicament
about four or five hours into the job, as i arrive hot & tired at the top of a fully extended ladder with a brush and some masonry paint, the top of the ladder begins a very slow slide down the wall and i say to myself quietly but audibly, "something's wrong !"
gathering my wits after that awful second in which time slows to 10% of its normal speed, i begin to climb back down the steps of the moving ladder & to think about how to land, especially if it twists and throws me sideways
but then it stops sliding and as i climb down, the loved one's cheerful voice says "saved you" and she's standing with her foot against the bottom rung and her shopping bags in her hands, having just turned the corner in time to witness my predicament
between waking and sleeping
the hyperactive talkaholic loved one arrives in the bed just after i've reached the point of deepest sleep
through my cerebral fog she's talking about the wedding we'll be attending in a couple of months
she says, with all the incandescent brightness of hope, "i'll need a new dress ... and a hat"
i mumble, whilst struggling back to semi-consciousness, "would you like to borrow my crash helmet?"
through my cerebral fog she's talking about the wedding we'll be attending in a couple of months
she says, with all the incandescent brightness of hope, "i'll need a new dress ... and a hat"
i mumble, whilst struggling back to semi-consciousness, "would you like to borrow my crash helmet?"
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
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